“The Bachelor,” Jason Mesnick, says he had no choice when he broke off his engagement with Melissa Rycroft on national TV Monday night. “That was part of the deal,” he tells People.com. “I signed up for it in my contract. Your relationship is — good and bad — in front of everybody. If I could have, I would have seen Melissa the night before. It killed me. It kills me now.”

Mesnick, who presented Rycroft with a Neil Lane engagement ring on the season finale, had a change of heart and realized they weren’t right for each other. Six weeks later, he confessed he still had feelings for Molly Malaney and ended his relationship with Melissa.

A fan favorite, Jason says he knows viewers are angry and what they must be thinking: “‘That guy is a jerk.’ But I’m not proud of what I had to do.”

Categories TV
Tags Broken Engagement, Jason Mesnick, Melissa Rycroft, Molly Malaney, Neil Lane, The Bachelor